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having this post is for me to fill up when i'm back at night cause i want the last post of 2010 to be in the year 2010 haha i just typed 2009 accidentally off to meet clep people but i would like to split myself to the cliquezxzs side too ah anw HAPPY NEW YEAR'S EVE EVERYONE :) and this has been an eventful year, hasn't it? :) @ 9:04pm of 1/1/11 Twenty... Ten It's been a superb year, one of the best, many things happened, and many friends made. Truthfully, i can't remember much about this year cause time seems to pass ever so quickly. Anyways... Thanks to every single soul who made 2010 a great year for me :) Let's look forward to the year ahead of us :)

hon like a rubbish me! ._. hahaha anw just got a mail and if i confirm with them... i'm gonna have two tuitions on sunday, 9-11 and 1130-1330 at the same location. woooooooooow one year ^^ but if that helps, why not right? keep positive about events next year! :) went sojourn iii for xintian so nice right ;) anw as usual, played with hon hahaha can't really put it to words cause i'm not serious now (right hon ^^) so yea, it was plain fun with dear seating partner honhon! :D oh, i can be her kfc partner too :D oh, much thanks to lady luck for this great year :) for my promo results, to lucky draws (homa breakfast and sojourn haha) luck doesn't appear everytime so thanks that it appeared and hope the gift will bring luck to xintian's brother too :) to satisfy the crazy xiaowei definition according to honhon Lollipop-F :D hahaha haven't watched the video as of 11:19pm but the comments sound great :D lastly, thankyou lowxintian for the ticket stub 0056 and thankyou ...

to wait for death, to wait for a close one who's approaching death or deterioration of mind, i can't imagine, and i would never want to imagine. i've never really faced anyone leaving. my granddad left when i was at a mere age of 6 or 7, i saw how my aunts and uncles cry their hearts out, i saw how my mom's anguish engulfed her like never before, i saw how so many of them, could not bear the departure of their dad/uncle/relative, but i couldn't understand why. now, it's different. i remember how much dislike and sadness was in me when i saw my granduncle was cremated but truthfully, i didn't know him well, so i can't imagine, imagine what if i know that person so well, what if that person plays such an important role in my life that i can't imagine if he/she's missing one day and that death was why they are away. grandmum's condition isn't what it seem to be everyone's worried, everyone's afraid, i can't imagine how much sadne...

陶晶瑩 十二月 26, 2010 那是她嗎 http://www.wo-men.com.tw/editor/blogdetail.aspx?cid=13&id=3624 很冒昧地提出了要去探望selina的要求　任爸答應了　 用他那充滿禮數又朝氣的聲音 前兩天也在電話裡聽到selina的聲音　和任爸一樣的充滿元氣 讓人覺得世界沒變　任爸沒變　selina也沒變　 十一點 我跟李仁準時出現在燒燙傷加護病房門口　 抱著畫了眉毛的小龍　想進去耍寶給nana看　讓他開心 不料病房禁止六歲以下兒童進入　只好讓保母帶開　 我和李仁由任媽帶領　先在入口處穿上防塵鞋套　隔離衣和隔離帽 經過一間間的病房　床上坐著都是一個個包著像木乃伊的病患 阿彌陀佛 最後　進入了她的病房　 我隨著任媽大步踏入　一進門　我已經調適好心情 無論如何　不能露出驚訝眼神　也不許哭　 我看見她了　一個坐在床上頭髮像個阿兵哥的小女孩　 那是她嗎 　 報上不是說　她的臉沒事嗎 那麼　那一塊紅一塊黃還有一些好像從焦黑退下的棕色　是怎麼回事　 李仁站在門口進來的一步　靜靜的站著　 我不能不說話　趕緊拿出一盒繽紛炫麗的各色蛋糕　擺在她的床上　 故作輕鬆地說這些那些都很好吃喔　 她熟悉的聲音說　妳好像我的聖誕老公公喔 我忍不住擁抱她　妳還好嗎　我說 任媽在一旁紅了眼眶　nana也是 她的兩隻手臂兩條腿　都穿上了那種肉色的緊身衣 在回家的路上　老公問我　妳看到緊身衣仍然有血渍嗎 我看到了　當然看到了 我還看到她頭皮裡的幾道縫線 她說　取了兩塊頭皮來補腳皮 她說　現在好很多了 一開始每天發高燒　劇痛難忍得用嗎啡　整日昏迷　意識不清 任爸任媽整夜守候　她自己也不記得說了什麼　睡了多久 現在好多了啦 她一派輕鬆是為了安慰我們嗎 哪裡好 現在又要復健拉扯新生皮膚來延展　又癢又疼 她還要介紹我皮膚藥膏　說是給異位性皮膚炎的女兒荳荳擦也不錯 我心中過的都是她以前活潑可愛的畫面 她美好的歌聲 還有　 那白皙的皮膚 那光滑的皮膚　 那個一直甜美　從來都不傷害別人　從來都笑臉迎人的美少女 為什麼 為什麼這麼殘忍的事情要發生 任媽一旁笑笑說　還好沒燒到事業線　說著說著眼眶又紅了 不只nana受煎熬　 還有任爸還有任媽 還有那個深愛著她　夜夜來輪值的阿中 他們都知道　未來的路還很長 就算　她不能再像以前那樣了　 他們仍然堅定...

thrice. that's the number of times she called my name today :) from the initial answer of knowing who i am but failing to call my name till calling out for xiaowei in a mere difference of 10 mins. this has made the happiest moment i have ever felt when someone called out for me. these few days at the hospital has made her emotions fluctuate but all the help the doctors and nurses have provide her with has indeed made her look more refreshed than staying at home. i wanna play a part in taking care of her but i don't have the courage to volunteer cause i can't speak hokkien that fluently to communicate with her. what if she needs help but i can't understand? what if i am required to translate what the staffs want but i can't? too many doubts and difficulties make me useless by staying by her side. but, i still want to be there for her. went to refill my tooth today two anesthesia and drilling and filling of half a tooth scarrrrrrry but yup, it's done :) even thoug...

Where, where can you get a better CT than ms huda? Dear 6C11 (Yay! I still get a kick out of seeing that), First of all, hope you've had a good December break and Christmas, and let me be the first to wish you a Happy New Year, and a fabulous senior year ahead :) Some of you may already know this, but I won't be your Civics Tutor next year, because The Powers That Be have decided to foist on me a few other things instead. Boo! So I'd just like to say that 2010 with you has been wonderfully memorable, in many, many big and small ways. You've got a great class dynamic and chemistry, and I'll definitely miss that. Even the PW drafts! (Oh and about that - let's just say that you made the marking of your WR and GPF so easy. OP is out of my hands, but I'm confident you did splendidly :)) We'll still see each other for GP next year, but its very likely that Mr John Wu will take over as Civics Tutor. Suffice to say you are in fantastic hands :D He will be in tou...

saw the mails on dhsmail and really turned to myself and questioned, "Am I really, really going to commit myself to so many things, and sustain the possibility of screwing up A levels? Making my parents worried over how stressful I might get at the end of the year again?" I quit piano such that I'll have more time for 'A's but after I did so, I said "yes, i'm interested" to Homa Fundraising and Guides OCIP which will inevitably take up my time for studies, not to mention the presence of Guitar SYF to work for and the two Guides activities along with a probable Guitar concert. Haven't I, made the decision to pay attention to studies after screwing up GP this promos? Haven't the big fat number of 18/50 in both Paper 1 and Paper 2 alarmed me enough? Or has the As Bs and Cs of other subjects eased my tension and made me less aware that I haven't been working hard enough and that all this supposed good grades are just luck coupled with my litt...

bad bad bad christmas :( as i stayed by the hospital bed, the many times she spoke, the many times she attempts to get out of it, the many times she answers the question wrongly... and finally twice the time she says, that she can't recognise me, made tears so hard to keep back. my childhood memories have all been about her, the times she talk, the times she showered concern, the times she fed me porridge including a time when she brought me to doctor when i had fever and collapsed after school, so many many details and comfort that i'm her granddaughter, she has now forgotten who i am, after all the torture from medications and the deteriorating mind, she has became vulnerable and never the same, and that, there is no more me in her memories. but i am still holding to a glimpse of hope, that it's just the difference in my hair that made her fail to recognise me. i hope things will return to the past when she gets back home, please be so.

this google sign in sort of linked with the dhs google account the changing thing is making me lazy to blog :( parkway with muni on monday after guides :) great time catching up with her on our trips :) along with the continuous walking ard parkway haha and finding lollipop :D guitar bbq yesterday after guides :) oh guides was fun cause i found a P4 Jasmine sec1 junior really outspoken and everything haha amazed me by her interview haha and paintinggggg fun :) yup and met the guitar people along with the seniors :) esther and simin and sinhui wheeeee guides :) wanted to ask dawn something but ahhhhhh didnt ask in the end :( games was quite fun in the end tooo along with edric's doraemon brother cuteeee :D then met hon and xintian todayyyy and lunch-ed at parkway :) stupid friends i have and unlike others who spend time at shopping malls, we spent it at popular hahaha ah but lollipop-f gai ban not out yetttttt :( then went to macs to study and who knowwwwwwwwwwws, saw yanci there :D...

LOLLIPOP_F威廉 今天開心的結束今天的簽名會，回到家裡包包一丟，打開電視電影台放映著一部片名叫歲月神偷的電影，原來我這麼脆弱，眼淚的潰隄一發不可收拾，又要過年了圓桌上少了那雙碗筷還是不習慣，沖了熱水澡帶走了寒冷的溫度卻沖不掉永遠的思念，哈哈夜深了突然感性了起來，不過我們也只能夢裡相見....是吧！老爸 讀著這則威廉對父親短短的幾句話，鼻頭隨著字裡行間的無奈和感傷酸起... 親人、父母，是每個人常以理所當然的心態對待的人， 卻是自己一生中，最不可以失去的人。

my parents just celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary on 15th Dec 2010 :)

i'm back from china :) for a week hahaha a week ago, i was on the plane at this time! :) and three weeks ago, i was at beijing's airport :) back with many many photos and many many fond memories :) there were bad times, especially during the initial stage when i have no one i can talk to, i feel especially thankful to have Jasmine, my dear room mate, and Qianyi, for always helping me out. and as the days passed, things cropped up and it became a time to need people to hear my inner thoughts, msn came to be a dear friend :) it provided me with a channel to contact with people in singapore xintian esther ly kimcham etc etc which gave me great comfort to talk to :) and angela's stupidity to ask if i'm back on the 7th day when i called her for 2 mins made me jump all about cause i was down at that time and moktard's willingness to come see me at bei da after communicating for so many days online & offline (messages ._.) made my day (truthfully, everyone could see h...