1921

oh, and after talking to my parents about it (they are always the largest influencer about my decisions sigh) and we made the decision about sep. my parents were pretty strong in their decision to send me to shanghai cause they are worried about my no-honors degree and they managed to convince me that even if i can't get into mediacorp this time they may want me after i go shanghai and expose myself to chinese etc so i can't find another reason to say no and i suppose this is really a onceinalifetime opportunity so, why not? so off i go to a place that i'm so fated with :)

THIS DESERVES A POST ON ITS OWN XIAOWEI CONQUERED THE NUMBER 10. FIRST EVER 10KM!!! :D:D:D it was so so so hard to hang in there after 7km every m just seem so hard but i reminded myself how i did not reach 10km in 2013 and how hard it might be when i try next time if i don't do it now and i kept going and the songs kept playing anddddddddddd XIAOWEI SUCCEEDED :D :D :D

just some random funny moments in school :) so that i wont rmb school as a period of merely study study study study study before gek lecture on tues jov and i had lunch and she talked about her laosai over the day hahah then i shared about my one-week-long laosai actulyy and we went too much into details we realise it's inappropriate since we were actually eating haha mno09 lecture when we were deciding where to sit, we considered that the person by the aisle will be called up by the lecturer haha and nic, who was sleeping, really got called up lol and since he dont even unds what she's saying haha he read out the answers from the slides ._. then after a clip on how light was "created" using a bottle w water + chlorine was shown i asked harv, why must they add the chlorine? he says, probably to make the light shine brighter then as i thought about it hahaha i thought of swimming pool, and i said "is that why the swimming pool looks brighter?!...

是個複雜的情緒 是失而復得 但 更是瞭解自己不願輸的個性 一切的不甘願 其實只不過是自己不服輸不願輸 因為即使現在得到 我更是措手不及 不知道是去 還是不去 但這畢竟是幸運的煩惱吧 最大的問題是 MC還是個未知數 而如果MC成立 我真的願意犧牲這份遲來的幸運 只為讓夢想實現 為了不讓未來的我想不通我到底在煩惱什麼 someone probably rejected SEP to fudan, so i got informed of the acceptance today. but, MC howwwwwwwwww :( and i just can't believe how fated i am w fudan it's as though i should have just entered it 2 years back as a freshman haha :)

keep thinking that they are loads of results that are to come in end jan-early feb but nv really figured out what they are so i listed them, and realised there's truly quite a bit of stuff MC Open day Nuh HIM 文學獎 勿忘初衷 just wanna remind myself not to lose focus of my final destination despite the results  and not to lose hope/be excessively disappointed even if things do not go my way there are so much more i have to do, so much more improvement to make do not overestimate your own abilities, and just carry on and work hard :)

anywayzxszxxsxsz :D one step ahead hehehe attended this talk in school yesterday and just as i was lacking this one bit of courage with my mouth full of food joy helped me to stop her andddddddddddddddddd there's another chance of me approaching my MC dreammmmmm :D (Y) (Y) (Y) :D :D :D

家人 有時，他們是你在追求夢想的推動力 有時，他們也是這條道路上的絆腳石 他們的牽絆來自於無形 沒有伸出手腳阻擋 也沒有拉著你讓你原地踏步 但他們的每一句話或每一分辛苦 都會讓你躊躇不前 前進也不是、退後更不是 這份幸福的絆腳石 是最難搬開卻也不願搬開的大石頭

吳青峰语录 人只要敢面对心中的小男孩和小女孩，就可以很单纯，就可以不怕单纯被复杂欺负嘲笑。 好聽 :)

當你不再奢求 只想安守本分 卻一再被逼迫讓步 一再被逼迫妥協 到底是因為這個世界太殘酷 還是我根本就不適合這個世界

我已屬於黑夜

是個夢 是個還未能實現的夢 適當我幻想時會微笑的夢 是現在提起會不小心鼻酸的夢 但這是個會到來的夢 而我希望它將是夢想和我一同實現的夢 honestly, childish me is picturing an image of me and taiwan, so near to each other but pushed apart by this evil bad guy called business and the school but truthfully, it's probably my lack of capability that resulted in it being able to pull us apart and in fact, even if it is not in the way, i may not approach this dream of mine, that seems so ever precious now cause i cannot reach it. got a headache. get a sleep. and it's a new day tmr. and i have many things to do.

Didn't get to go sep Didn't manage to go Taiwan But I guess I'm ok Since it wasn't unexpected :/ Just a lil disappointed But it's ok :) 只是天不時地不利(儘管人和) 或許專註於最終的目的地 就會讓我忘了途中的缺少和失望 但至少我沒有什麼可後悔的 因為我盡力了 而最終 我還是希望我能夠用我的能力和文字 為世界上的某些人帶來一些希望或感悟 就如同一些莫名的文字如何將我帶出山谷中的黑暗時刻 :)

went for openday ambassador registration w joy today and they asked us to pretend we are tour guides and describe/share abt nus to the parents joy in english, and xiaowei in chinese hahaha totally caught me offguard when they asked me to do that butttttttt it was so interesting hehehe ^^ first time describing the route from utown to clb and in chinese keke :D honestly i was quite nervous when i was introducing myself that i could feel my cheeks trembling haha though i have no idea why then after the chinese talk i just suddenly felt so much at ease hehe and they said it was good hehe yayyyyyy :D feels so proud that i can do chinese though it's prob normal/below standards in chinese countries but so happy to feel like i actually have a strength (in my env at least) :D 谢谢你（华文）让我觉得我还是个有用的人 :)

glad i met up w a few friends today :) had gem lecture, which was super funny hehe love it then off i went to fishtank to study and i was the first person inside first time turning the lights on for the whole fishtank lol read gek notes and it was actually quite exciting keke then ... i slept for half an hour :) power nap! met chelsea for lunch meh dumpling soup's dumpling taste like flour so i ended up drinking soup and eating some (rather raw) veg and onions haha hehe so long since we last met for flag :') the best gifts from flag is certainly knwing chelsea and jiayan aww caught up on her exchange life and my internship one short hour, but it was short and sweet ^^ thanks for her gift too hehe asianbizenv lecture was surprisingly interesting then talked to joy after class over lunch no 2 haha this thing struck me - which led to this post which was us trying to enjoy our uni lives, more than the last sem's usual struggle to pull cap pull cap gues...

Dropped a tear at grandma's bedside yesterday night, As I massaged her palms and 我吃得起苦 started playing on the radio Fear arising from dad's bloodshot eyes + Pain felt from ants "invasion" attempt of grandma's injured toes And the ache and guilt from the memory of tv 出路 days when grandma accompanied me while dad and mum were out working How I wish I could kill all the ants that attempts to, or have already inflicted pain on her How I wish I could rub off grandma's fear of whatever that may come from her eyes and her heart How I wish I could do so much more to help reduce her pain and helplessness than the mere acts of massaging on a weekly basis (and not knowing if it is actually causing more pain than comfort) But why is it that all I could do is think And think of all that she has done for me And think of all that she has went through in her life And think of how much more pain she might have to go through She may not be the perfect woman But ...

不要輕言看待一坨屎 因為不是每個人都有能力生出完整的它

看到「小資女孩向前沖」的一幕... 當你發現你的世界充滿謊言 你最在乎的人本就是個謊言 你會不知所措 你會彷徨無助 你不再知道我可以相信什麼 你不再知道我要如何繼續融入這個世界 我的定位是什麼 我能依賴的人還剩誰 我能相信的是誰 我又是誰 我是誰 我是誰

最近的我 開始更勇於追求我的夢想 可能我還不夠資格 可能我還需要很多的磨練 但能做自己樂於去做的事 那種得到舒放的喜悅 其實更勝於一切虛假的級別 謝謝妳 給了我那從沒有過的讚賞 讓我相信 我其實有可能完成自己喜歡做的事 也謝謝你們 給了我那從沒有過的機會 讓我發現 我的夢其實並沒有那麼遙遠 就算失敗 至少過程中的我 是快樂 是自由的

okayyyyyyyy just remembered that i should leave some tracks of my days in school year 2 sem 2 week 1 2-2-1 hahahah no idea what it means but anw :) studying has been, bad. honestly, i felt that i lost track of how to study, and the liking (?) for studying working has painted a waytoopretty picture for me and now i'm just thrown back into a stage that simply wanna get to the greener side of the grass have been telling myself to buck up and study, but i just can't get down to doing it not sure why, but i know i have to do so, as soon as possible, or rather, now. realised that most of my schooling days are gonna be spent with jovina hahahaha totally didn't expect it when i met her on a half-year basis lol now i'm seeing her 3 out of my 4 schooling days haha but it's really nice to have her around cause we always end up in ridiculous situations and dialogues lol from fangirling to shitting habits hahaha to suanning each other now and then to tryi...

你知道我的名字，但你不知道我是誰； 你知道我做過的事，可是你不知道我儘力過的事； 做錯事情，要懂得去改；改不了，也一定要進步， 這個就是「曹格」。 大家記得他醉酒毆打的事件， 但大家可還記得「背叛」中，他那觸動我們的歌聲？ 少一點譏諷， 多一次機會。 你会问：“為何要？” 但其实，我们又為何不？

IT'S TEN AM. AND I'M HOME. ON A NON-HOLIDAY WEEKDAY :D hehehe pardon me for the joy of this seemingly normal day :) knocked out after a day of 8-8 yesterday first day of schooooooool and 8-8 yeas i can do this i can do this i can do this :) attempted baking w lowwy (though failed) but at least i got to meet her after so long hehe and had lunch at reeds though it's a wrong order and a super rushed meal haha but it's the company that matters right haha lessons wereeeeee X_X can't understand much of it and couldn't quite adapt to the schooling life rmb seeing 8:44 >> 8:45 >> 8:46 though it felt like forever lol but leadership class was rather fun (unexpectedly haha) more lessons today go! :) 只是因為發現我不再想許多事情 才想到 如果生活的忙碌造就了一個不再想事情的我 甚至說 就因為生活如此的忙碌 多數人都不再想 不是 有點 讓人 感傷 嗎？

有人把黃曉明稱作“當代李大仁”，而程又青，李大仁未必非要在一起。就像這樣，以朋友的身份，深愛，不佔有，不分手，帶著遺憾的結局才算完美，才算永恆 - 摘自：《有一種友情，叫趙薇黃曉明》http://www.life.com.tw/?app=view&no=98377

WOOHOO EGGCITESSSSSSSS :D SODAGREEN IS COMING ON AUGUST 30TH!!! :D 

attended YES933 birthday party at wavehouse with Jovina's tickets :D took photos with the many DJs! :D and them at the start of the party! :D and got their goodie bag and birthday cookies! :D (2 cookies actually hehe) and definitely, all the good food are thanks to these aunties (and uncles who are not in the pic) for BBQing the whole night! hehe so heartwarming when jovina said "要跟他们say thank you吗?" right after i had the thought to do so :D hehe thank you jovinaaaaaaaaa :D  LOL at our many similarities (onlychildsyndrome :P) hahaha can't believe i met you the most no of times over this hols due to our fangirling activities hahaha see you on monday - first session of first day of semester pft haha finally, to my study/work buddy, who's gonna accompany me from monday onwards for the rest of the sem -  !!! :D

from the title, it may seem like holidays means more than internship to me but nooooooope this time, Internship meant so much more than holidays cause i learnt so much more than the books in school :) updates for the last week of holidays! meetups meetups and meetups! :D first up - hon on monday at nex! :D we had jap pasta after walking round nex and exploring the various options before ending up there haha then we had yoguru, which we both liked! :D  and this cute little friend of mine bought me gifts and a fuzzywarmy card hehe :D okay, hon, i got to admit that i didn manage to keep it in shape especially after running/chionging to bus stop when i saw 158 haha but i had it for breakfast the next morn and it tastes so yummmmmy :D hehe so lovely that xiao./xiaoblack managed to catch honhon before school starts cause it was so full of laughter and sec3kids chitchats hahaha take care and see you next time honnnnnnnn :D met guitar girls on tuesday at dhobby ...

Glanced through and saw this in my appraisal (that the company kept for internal use) "Xiaowei has taught me to be a better person"-TQ Awwwwwwwwww :) In comparison to any other statements, this left such a lasting impression thank you so so so much tq! :) this sentence just gave me a push in doing what I believe in, in terms of giving, and to treat others with more care than calculations hehe the boss and co-mentor And here's missing my (main) mentor Yiqi, who took a halfday leave :/ Boss gave me so many treats that actually helped to save money for a few lunches haha and 3 coffee treats at t&c and starbucks :B and honestly, even though he's this slave driver that stressed me now and then, he taught me quite a bit of stuff through experiencing the various activities especially in terms of fighting for myself and reminders on how to perform better (at least not forgetting to do all the 表面功夫s) and, haha he's the only boss that i dare...

人們就是不願相信人生有可能徒勞，受的罪越深，不見得就可以換來更幸福的人生 - 我們從未不認識

如果我跟世界不一樣 那就讓我不一樣 堅持對我來說就是以剛克剛 - 五月天 倔強

Alrighty  2 Jan was spent rushing everywhere haha went to raffles city to get sean's endorsement for sep  then left for school (such a long ride) and met alex marvin and jordan for lunch  nice to meet them before they fly hehe  then went back to office but i alighted 2 stops earlier so i ended up walking back ._. oh and office was like a market at 4plus hahaha not sure why then for dinner, i met Jiayan and we had korean bbq at 2D1N! hehe finally getting to eat 2d1n after hearing it for so long :D then we walked all the way from tanjong pagar to bras basah haha chilling night breeze :D fri was rather hectic in office lol had several meetings and heard more abotut my boss' obsession (hahaha ?) over the three kingdoms interesting though i felt! hehe so i was then tasked w like 3 more items before i leave haha next week is the last week of work - make the most out of it! :) met mama for swensens lunch at the last minute &...

First day of 2014! Spent it nicely w parents in the aftn hehe After (funnily) arguing over where to go We decided to go i12 for a meal and we had 五衙石門 haha think its called yomenya goemon (??) Anw it was so so so nice ^^ Hehe much better than instantnoodleswithovernightcurry lol Then went off to cousin's bday party Kinda interesting to see so many kids But I was prob shagged out from the cleaning up the day before haha felt super tired even though I woke up at 12pm Eat eat eat and see baby cousin bounce everywhere haha Then I met gen at her void deck before she flew off :) So glad i managed to catch her before she's gonna be missing for 6 months :) Take loads of care friend! :) Then had supper w family at suntec beanstro! sweet treat for the end of the day :) Hehe nice end to the start of 2014 :)

青峰在2013年終說： 「過去的一年呢，我相信每個人都發生很多事情，有好的也有壞的。然後有很多應該我們要繼續去關心或關注可是已經被大家遺忘，然後也有很多一些沸沸揚揚紛紛擾擾的新議題，但是我就希望在新的一年當中，包括我自己，都可以有一顆更開闊的心，就是不只是尊重，而是要真心的去體會跟理解每一種愛跟愛人的方式。 然後，很多事情是緣分，很多事情是選擇，但是像人權這種事情我覺得每個人都要平等的，所以我希望我們 不要習慣性地去否定一件事情只是因為你不來了解 或者是 否定一件事情只是因為別人跟你不一樣 。然後不要 輕率地去支持一件事情只是你聽別人講，一定要自己去了解，自己去體會 ，好不好？」

2014 - BE THANKFUL. BE FORGIVING. BE WHO XIAOWEI REALLY IS. that's all - cause i wanna BE CONTENTED :)