1921

我最近一直在想幾件事 而它們 都和我的工作有關 或者說 它們 都和我的夢想有關 甚至 我可以說 他們 都和我有關 夢想和工作牽涉太多 問題大概就是 它們分不開 而當你失去對工作的熱忱時 你連夢想也跟著失去 你 似乎 連自己 都跟著失去 聽到別人稟持著夢想踏進一個噩夢 我可以聽著她的故事跟著淚眼盈眶 聽到別人被現實逼著放棄夢想 我可以看著她連想起自己最初的夢想 這是我這段日子來一直糾結著的事 而以為已經走到光明時 我又被拉回現實的殘酷面 但是 或許 現實並不殘酷 是自己對現實过于苛刻 另外 我真的很想知道 也一直在摸索 到底 我们都做错了什么 而韩国，究竟做对了什么 这是我最近给自己的功课 最后 附上我一直以来最喜欢的一句台词 “不是每一句对不起，都能换来一句没关系” －《醉后决定爱上你》 而再附上一句鼓励自己的话 “弱者用眼泪悲叹今日，强者用鲜血奋斗明日”－桐华

好的 this week has been a troubling one and one that is mentally tiring from all the internal struggles within me i remember feeling like i've offended three people directly and indirectly on monday which made me felt so tired out from all the need to give politically correct answers and maintaining beneficial work relationships it made me rethink and wonder if i could really come to work and do what i want most, which i assumed to be the core idea of the department, to write and produce quality local shows i was upset over ideas of settling for what's easy, safe to do what others have done, and being defensive over criticisms while you spend little effort on doing what could have been better i was lost over how i should perform at work, whether it's worth offending bosses simply for trying to improve a show that i'm not even credited, whether there is anyone in this place that treasures tv as much as i do i recall a boss saying that they want to improve as a wh...

The more you love, The more affected you get. 明明付出了真心 想把剧集做好 但人际关系的拿捏让你不知该如何进退 过于在乎过于热爱 也让心情过于飘忽 Whenever ppl gets upset at work  They can casually says that it doesn't bother them cause it's just work  But I can't  Cause I treat it as a part of my life  As though it's part of what makes my pride  Like a baby I hope to grow into something well It's not just a job  If it is, I would have been elsewhere  Guess this is the hard part about combining work and passion 丢开所有负面情绪 活在当下

Okie so Monday was public hol :) Momma decided to go ask granny out for KBBQ in the name of spending time w her (but I secretly realized her true intention was simply to eat 😒) haha this mother is such a glutton So we went to this faraway place for it till pretty late... to dad's anger cause he said the previous day before that he wanted to work that day 😪 Oh wells  Other than the food that was megayumz - think plenty of sotong, prawns and Korean chicken 😍 Another thing that happened was winning chabansheng tickets after answering derrick's question on 你最喜欢的歌 ^^ And after whining for days hahaha Momma finally got me my snow skin mooncake ^^  Though there's only one but there are two yolks hahaha  Shall be glad considering the many many mooncakes that I've had  in office 😅 Since wed night was mooncake festival  The mat. family had a gathering again all the way at faraway punggol  They kinda decided on having it at home c...

okie i just realised that what's impt about coming to three months isn't simply about a 'phase', but that i can finally take paid MCs! hahahaha less fear of falling sick now :) :) so back to office for the past week wholeeeeee week the first two days were abit harder cause i needed time to get use to it and having to speak up more now that two talkative writers are gone haha essentially it boils down to my low threshold for longgggg pauses during meetings such that i end up trying to move it even though i fail often haha but still, glad that the take up rate of my ideas have increased over the past week :) :) oh and glad that my new colleague is one that can actually understand me and help me "translate" my ideas to the rest! haha but it might be harder next week now that she's gonna go home to write while i'm staying for discussion anddddd oh gosh i think it's gonna be 5-day week for the next three to four weeks sighpie but after wr...

Idk if I'm even eligible considering where I'm working at now But I just won tickets to chabansheng's performance from Derrick!!! 🙆🙆🙆 It's like excitement on three folds cause   1) it's from Derrick! 😂 2) it's chabansheng that I've been wanting to watch live since forever (ok not rlly haha prob just since a few years ago)  3) they asked for reasons why you like the song so I came up w a reason that's rather true to my heart but pretty dramatic - then Derrick read the text out v dramatically and chen ning said 你是在写故事吗 HAHA I'm rlly living up to my scriptwriter identity unintentionally😂😂😂

And this marks my first three months in the workforce, in my ideal dream job ☺️ So much has happened  But it definitely doesn't seem like it has been three whole months (if I use my internships as benchmarks) I've learnt so much  But so much more to learn  Keep going! ^^ Okie and for the past week ... Kinda conflicting thoughts abt it hahah Spent one whole week to finish my first shadow script (like script for one full episode!!! Hehehe) Kinda love how I can wake up whenever I want and work at my own flexible pace  But the few days when I had near zero social contact w other people made me worry a lil abt how worse my social skills can get if such days go on for a month (which would be once I start taking five or six eps at one go)   Okay but still shiokz much hahahah And i also worried (oh my I'm a  worry-freak) abt whether I can go through such brain-twisting days over and over again for episodes after episodes and shows afte...