it's my cousin's twenty-first bday party today
and i'm not at the party cause i'm home muggggggggging
but weirdly, and unlike the other family events that i missed, by purpose or not,
i feel bad for not going
feels like i'm letting his parents down since i didn't turn up when i'm invited (am i?)
but the thing is that we aren't even close in the first place
yet perhaps, perhaps,
it's this idea that he was possibly my first friend since we were only born 20 days apart
and the fact that he nv held any bday party before
that made me feel really bad for not going, and without prior notice to them
oh right, but we probably hvnt talked in years (possibly 7yrs?) even though we meet at family gatherings on a regular, but not frequent, basis
and today i'm rlly pressing for time to prep for monday's exam
there are so many excuses for my absence yet i'm just feeling so bad about it
i nearly walked out though, but with the stress of choosing clothes + cramps + reading my notes
i gave up thinking that i'll still get to study after attending the party
alright - just go to get this out since it has been troubling haha
happy (early) birthday, though you will never see this, my first friend in the world,
whom i hit and play with when were babies and toddlers
which reminds me, he may be the first few i talked to in baby language haha
not that that helps in building pleasant cousin relationships - as proven as we grow into strangers
yes, but still, happy birthday my 20-day older brother :)
okay, now. WORK.
and i'm not at the party cause i'm home muggggggggging
but weirdly, and unlike the other family events that i missed, by purpose or not,
i feel bad for not going
feels like i'm letting his parents down since i didn't turn up when i'm invited (am i?)
but the thing is that we aren't even close in the first place
yet perhaps, perhaps,
it's this idea that he was possibly my first friend since we were only born 20 days apart
and the fact that he nv held any bday party before
that made me feel really bad for not going, and without prior notice to them
oh right, but we probably hvnt talked in years (possibly 7yrs?) even though we meet at family gatherings on a regular, but not frequent, basis
and today i'm rlly pressing for time to prep for monday's exam
there are so many excuses for my absence yet i'm just feeling so bad about it
i nearly walked out though, but with the stress of choosing clothes + cramps + reading my notes
i gave up thinking that i'll still get to study after attending the party
alright - just go to get this out since it has been troubling haha
happy (early) birthday, though you will never see this, my first friend in the world,
whom i hit and play with when were babies and toddlers
which reminds me, he may be the first few i talked to in baby language haha
not that that helps in building pleasant cousin relationships - as proven as we grow into strangers
yes, but still, happy birthday my 20-day older brother :)
okay, now. WORK.
